Linkin Park Are Worth Listening To

Let today be the day that I go on record as saying that Linkin Park are actually a decent band.

Linkin Park put the video for "Waiting For The End" on their YouTube profile a couple days ago, so I can only assume that this is their new song; I could be dead wrong of course, as I am somewhat out of touch with pop culture these days, and even more out of touch with how to be a participating member of society in general, but this is nonetheless a video worth watching.

Apparently it was done by the Joe Hahn (DJ in the band), who has presumably discovered, like most Nu Metal bands, that the role of DJ in a rock band is about as obsolete (and equally retarded) as flying a kite in a thunder storm to try to get electricity-- Yeah, it works technically, but why bother?

Thankfully, Linkin Park have grown out of their Nu Metal origins, and managed to sustain themselves as a decent rock band who can't really be classified as any specific genre. This is what, in my opinion, makes them stand apart from their peers, and has enabled them to endure the test of time. Had they simply been a good Nu Metal band, they would have gone back to the depths of obscurity, along with P.O.D., Puddle Of Mudd, Limp Bizkit, and Incubus.

Simply put, this is a cool song, and it has a damn cool constellation-themed video to accompany it. I recommend turning the lights down low and playing it at 1080i fullscreen on your computer-- It kind of looks like an iTunes visualizer that was made SPECIFICALLY for the song. This is a primary example of a song that is made BETTER by the video. While you're at it, I also recommend inviting your new lady friend over and telling her you have something special planned, and then switching the song to Puke On Cops by NOFX while she waits on the bed for you to further disappoint her.

In any case, here's the video. It's good even in spite of the fact that that Mike Shinoda fellow is doing his best impersonation of Sean Paul at various points throughout the song. Now ain't that a kick in the head?

Avril Lavigne Knows How To Stay Culturally Relevant

     Not a lot to say about this one. Avril Lavigne is on the cover of Maxim Magazine's November issue. 

     I realize that Avril Lavigne has about as much to do with punk music as a turd on the sidewalk has to do with international diplomacy, but she has to do with this blog in that I'm the one writing it, and I always figured at this point in my life she and I would be married, or at least cheating on our spouses with each other. 

     I don't know when the last time I actually heard an Avril Lavigne song was, or if she's meant to be coming out with a new album, but it looks like she has a new flat stomach to show off, which is all you need in order to stay culturally relevant these days. Throw on some eyeliner there, baby you got yourself a cover story. I mean, what kind of musician actually wants to put out music, anyway?

     If anyone picks up this magazine, let me know what it contains. Due to some misguided notion of self worth, I consider myself above picking up this magazine at a magazine stand, but I'm not above reading about it on the Internet.

     Alright, this blog has officially devolved into nonsense. Now ain't that a kick in the head?

Less Than Jake Are Short On Ideas

  

     Ugh. I don't even know where to begin with this one.
     A few months ago, when Less Than Jake announced that they would be coming out with an EP comprised entirely of covers of TV jingles and theme songs for various shows, I was a little bit apprehensive to say the least. While the idea of a recorded EP made up of TV-covers sounds inherently fun in some way, there's also something about it that sounds inherently... terrible. Nonetheless, I decided to stave off any judgement until hearing the album-- That is, until their cover of the Animaniacs Theme Song surfaced. That's when I knew trouble was on the horizon.
     To celebrate the release of the aptly titled "TV/EP", Less Than Jake put together a video stream of the entire album (see below), with all the original television intros synched up to their own covers of each song. You see folks, there is more to this album that meets the eye. Not only is it composed of television theme songs, but it is meant to SIMULATE the experience of flipping through television channels... Which is perhaps the most irritating idea for a concept album since Thrice decided to put out four CD's each themed around the different elements of Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire. However, where Thrice's quadruple EP was pretentious, Less Than Jake's new EP falls on the other side of the spectrum of awfullness: retarded.
     Who in God's name would want to listen to an album that is meant to simulate the experience of an activity that is already irritating to begin with? I have no idea, but I decided to watch the video to try to gain some insight.
     The first song came on, and I had no fuckin' clue what I was watching, but the cover that Less Than Jake were playing beneath it actually sounded okay, in spite of the Boy-Meets-World-wannabees prancing around my screen. Then the image changed to snow, and a split second later went to the Hungry Hungry Hippos commercial.
     Are you freakin' kidding me? Less Than Jake have decided to cover COMMERCIALS on this thing too? That's when I knew this album was garbage. For the next 11 minutes, I watched various intros to shows interspersed with commercial jingles, and to be honest, the only reasons I did were a) because I wanted to blog about this, and b) because there was a time in my life when I considered Less Than Jake to be my favorite band.
     However, it is difficult to say one really LIKES a band when they put out nonsense like this. I get it, ska is meant to be fun, light hearted music, that isn't meant to be taken seriously. However, ska as a genre is also flawed in that it is extremely repetitive, to the point where it is borderline irritating. What Less Than Jake have done with this album is taken a genre that already suffers from being annoyingly peppy at all times, and pushed it to the quintessence of this very flaw: television jingles.
     Yes, these songs have catchy hooks, but that's because they are MEANT to get stuck in your head. And just because they get stuck in your head doesn't make them good. There's nothing awesome about having the Animaniacs sing "We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks" going through your brain on repeat, especially when you're a grown ass man.
     What this album reminds us is that it's even Less Than Awesome to be a grown ass man PLAYING ska songs, much less playing THESE ska songs. In case somewhere along the line of watching this, you forgot the absurdity of a 35-year old male singing these songs, Less Than Jake cut in footage of themselves singing along to the That 70's Show Theme Song. The result is frightening to say the least, and makes me want to never have children, just so that these guys never have the chance to go anywhere near them.
     I didn't write this post to hate on Less Than Jake though. Like I said, they were once one of my favorite bands, and I'm still waiting for them to put out something equally as awesome as Hello Rockview. For the time being, I suppose I'll have to settle for something that should have been nothing more than a funny video on their website, or a few songs played live for shits and giggles. Certainly not an entire EP or album.
     At least Less Than Jake wisely decided to cover one of those freecreditreport.com songs at the end. That shit is still awesome.

Travis Barker Can't Go Five Minutes Without Drumming

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. Travis Barker drumming on a boat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Consider your lives complete now.

I have no idea what the point of this video is, but I would imagine it's either to remind people that he's still mourning the death of DJ AM (as expressed by his T Shirt), or, equally as important, to remind people that he's still a better drummer than you'll ever be.

More likely it's to gain momentum for his solo album, which is set to come out later this month. If this video is any indication, we can expect lots of drums and... well, not much else. Maybe some seagulls somewhere in the background?

Seriously, was this really the best way to get people to watch him play? Why not record this somewhere a little more convenient, like say, a studio? Was it necessary to take him as far away from land as possible just record fifty seconds of him soloing?

What was the context here? It's as if his manager just places him in front of a drum set in random places and says "Here you go Travis, you can play now". Then again, maybe that's how Mark Hoppus got him to drum for Blink 182.

Travis Barker has always seemed like a cool guy by my book (hell, I even watched that MTV reality show/atrocity based upon his marriage to horrible actress/passable Playmate, Shanna Moakler) but this video illuminates exactly what TMZ and all of Twitter thrive on-- just how much pointless nonsense we will listen to, as long as it has to do with famous people. What's that you say? Kim Kardashian is having a sandwich?? We must alert the public immediately! Raise the threat level to code red!

Alright, Travis Barker drumming on water. There's no point to it, but somehow it still exudes awesome. That's all there is to it, really.

And yeah,  I realize this post and the last one have little to do with vinyl, but it's a hell of a lot easier to write this shit than it is to tell you why you should listen to a band you either haven't heard before, or already listen to on a regular basis.


- Frankie D

Tegan And Sara Are Trying To Ruin Bad Religion For Me

Every so often someone comes along and tries to ruin music for me. They create something that is not only somewhat unpleasant to listen to, but also insults something that I hold near and dear. They take something good, and twist it on itself so it becomes unrecognizable and vile. It's like when someone draws a mustache on a picture of your baby daughter, or you see a movie with a hot chick in it who starts turning into a demon and climbing on ceilings and twisting her head around 360 degrees and throwing up guts everywhere. That shit just isn't cool, man. And in this case, the uncool shit is Tegan and Sara covering "Suffer" by Bad Religion.

I don't want to hate on Tegan and Sara. I've given them plenty of chances, including purchasing two of their albums, and even listening to them to the point where they've made it into my Top 20 Most Listened To Artists on my lastfm.

Still, there is something about those gender-bending little hos that I just don't get. I don't get it, I really don't. I don't get why everyone seems to love them, from hipsters to punks like Tom Gabel and Matt Skiba. I don't get why NOFX have a song about them. I don't get why lesbians think they're hot.

I'll admit, they are creative, and do write some catchy songs. But that's just not enough for me. Their vocals sound similar to what I would imagine little Japanese girls singing about Hello Kitty would sound like, or like a young eastern European girls' choir encouraging other young women to hold on to their chastity. They have this bizarre accent that is just out of place-- Yes they are Canadian, but last I checked, a Canadian accent wasn't a borderline speech impediment.

I know what they're trying to do. They heard that I liked Bad Religion more than I like them, and now they're trying to ruin them with their shitty cover of Suffer, the same way that Kris Roe from the Ataris ruined the Bad Religion song "Heaven Is Falling" with his shitty cover.

Don't even get me started on that nonsense. He took a great Bad Religion song, brought it out of context, and recorded it with the sound quality of a wet paper towel. The Ataris ruined "Heaven Is Falling" like Britney Spears shaving her head ruined her vagina for me, or like how seeing Britney Spears' vagina ruined her vagina for me. I was done. I just didn't want to see it anymore, and no matter how much I tried to like it again, the magic was lost forever.

Well Tegan and Sara, I won't let you do this to Bad Religion. Not this time. You can have your own songs-- In fact, I'll even indulge in them from time to time. But let's leave Bad Religion out of this, mmkay?

For those of you who haven't heard the horribleness, check it out here:

http://www.myspace.com/music/tegan-and-sara-1943329/songs/suffer-74866492

Pre-Order: Fucked Up - Year Of The Ox

BAND: Fucked Up

ALBUM: Year Of The Ox (12" Single)

RELEASE: September 28th, Merge Records

TRACKS:
Side A
1. Year Of The Ox

Side B
1. Solomon's Song

PRE-ORDER: Merge Records

INFO:

In keeping up with the previous post on epic punk songs, here's Fucked Up with their latest 13-minute single, "Year Of The Ox". This single is their fourth one in the Chinese Zodiac series, and features and a string section performed by New Strings Old Puppets and guest vocals by Zola Jesus.

Fucked Up aren't a band that are known for doing things the traditional way-- Their obscenely large discography, their MTV appearance during which they performed in (and destroyed) the bathrooms, or the fact that they played a free twelve-hour show in NYC, are all evidence of this. Hell, even their name should be evidence of this.

It is for this reason that it should be no surprise to fans of the band that this song strays pretty far from their hardcore origins, save for the ballsiness of attempting such a whopper of a song, and the fact that Pink Eyes' vocals sound about as smooth as scraping your own knees across hot gravel. In this case his yell is actually catchy, and combined with the mid tempo pace of the song, and the guest string and vocal performances, this single is sure to attract more attention for this band.

I have to say, I have their second album, The Chemistry Of Common Life, and though I like certain tracks, the fact that there are psychadellic instrumental tracks interspersed with hardcore songs makes it difficult to listen to front to back.

"The Year Of The Ox," however, nicely ties together the band's ambitions to do things outside the box, their hardcore edge, and their musical creativity. I mean come on people, it's a thirteen minute punk song with screams, female vocals, and an orchestra section. I would recommend this not just to fans of the band, or of the genre for that matter, but anyone looking to hear something new and original.

If you don't believe me, you can stream the entire thing here or here.

Evidently, the B-Side is meant to be a "gothic vampire love tribute to Twighlight," whatever that means.

Look, point is buy the vinyl, or just stream it indefinitely. Either way, listen to it.


- Frankie D

NOFX - The Decline

ARTIST: NOFX

ALBUM: The Decline (EP)

PRESSINGS:
155 clear vinyl (avg. price $450.00)
??? Black (avg. price $14.00)

WHY IT'S AWESOME:
This is pretty much it, people. NOFX's magnum opus in one 18-minute-long song. If you're going to listen to NOFX, or even punk rock in general, you need this album because it just might be the best punk song ever written (there, I said it).

NOFX, in spite of being somewhat a joke of a band, are arguably the backbone of punk music. They've become rock stars without radio play (back when it mattered), MTV (back when it mattered), or ever being on a major label (back when it mattered). They are DIY incarnate-- They own almost all of their music, and release records on their own homegrown label, Fat Wreck Chords. Though the majority of their catalogue is worth listening to at least once (if not hundreds of times, like I have in the past few months), there is one album that stands miles above the rest: The Decline.

Although NOFX are known for having a few songs per record that clearly took zero effort and time to write, this album/song is exceptionally crafted from start to finish. Not a single second is wasted here, because, as the Fat Wreck Chords product description for this record reads: "NOFX are pissed off, and they want to tell you all about it."

NOFX accomplish precisely what they set out to do with this song: Tell you about the decline-- both societal and personal; And though the song starts out as bluntly as possible ("Where are all the stupid people from, and how'd they get to be so dumb?"), by the end Fat Mike is no longer just singing about the decline of western civilization, but about the personal and emotional decline that each individual member of civilization faces as a result of the society we've created: "Only moron and genius would fight a losing battle against the superego, when giving in is so damn comforting. And so we go, on with our lives, we know the truth, but prefer lies."

To drive the point home, this song intelligently and forcefully enunciates what punk rock was founded on: discontent. Indeed, NOFX are pissed, and not only do they want to tell us about it, they HAVE TO tell us about it. Fat Mike rails against everything that's wrong with us, from the religious and conservative right wing politicians, to the widespread apathy of a conditioned populace. There's a reason this song is a treat when you get to hear them play it live, and it's not just because of the music-- It's because of the emotion behind it that every NOFX or punk rock fan empathizes with.

So yeah, it looks like somehow I've once again managed to do exactly what I promised I wouldn't do in my first blog post: Compare Fat Mike to Michelangelo. Again. And I guess you could say that The Decline is like his Sistine Chapel. Godamnit.


- Frankie D

PS In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, listen to the first half here. Then go out and buy the whole thing. But good luck finding it on clear vinyl.