Every so often someone comes along and tries to ruin music for me. They create something that is not only somewhat unpleasant to listen to, but also insults something that I hold near and dear. They take something good, and twist it on itself so it becomes unrecognizable and vile. It's like when someone draws a mustache on a picture of your baby daughter, or you see a movie with a hot chick in it who starts turning into a demon and climbing on ceilings and twisting her head around 360 degrees and throwing up guts everywhere. That shit just isn't cool, man. And in this case, the uncool shit is Tegan and Sara covering "Suffer" by Bad Religion.
I don't want to hate on Tegan and Sara. I've given them plenty of chances, including purchasing two of their albums, and even listening to them to the point where they've made it into my Top 20 Most Listened To Artists on my lastfm.
Still, there is something about those gender-bending little hos that I just don't get. I don't get it, I really don't. I don't get why everyone seems to love them, from hipsters to punks like Tom Gabel and Matt Skiba. I don't get why NOFX have a song about them. I don't get why lesbians think they're hot.
I'll admit, they are creative, and do write some catchy songs. But that's just not enough for me. Their vocals sound similar to what I would imagine little Japanese girls singing about Hello Kitty would sound like, or like a young eastern European girls' choir encouraging other young women to hold on to their chastity. They have this bizarre accent that is just out of place-- Yes they are Canadian, but last I checked, a Canadian accent wasn't a borderline speech impediment.
I know what they're trying to do. They heard that I liked Bad Religion more than I like them, and now they're trying to ruin them with their shitty cover of Suffer, the same way that Kris Roe from the Ataris ruined the Bad Religion song "Heaven Is Falling" with his shitty cover.
Don't even get me started on that nonsense. He took a great Bad Religion song, brought it out of context, and recorded it with the sound quality of a wet paper towel. The Ataris ruined "Heaven Is Falling" like Britney Spears shaving her head ruined her vagina for me, or like how seeing Britney Spears' vagina ruined her vagina for me. I was done. I just didn't want to see it anymore, and no matter how much I tried to like it again, the magic was lost forever.
Well Tegan and Sara, I won't let you do this to Bad Religion. Not this time. You can have your own songs-- In fact, I'll even indulge in them from time to time. But let's leave Bad Religion out of this, mmkay?
For those of you who haven't heard the horribleness, check it out here:
http://www.myspace.com/music/tegan-and-sara-1943329/songs/suffer-74866492
That is the worst thing to happen to humanity since the splitting of the atom.
ReplyDeleteReally? So bad? it's not a punk cover, obviously, but i'm a little puzzled as to how this could be considered ruining a great song. if they simply tried to imitate the song, then i could understand. but it's a completely different interpretation. i thought their ghostly vocals and sparse use of ambient noises lent a chilling quality to the song. While the bad religion version once felt like a warning, this one feels more like an elegy.
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