Davey Havok (AFI) To Join Cast Of American Idiot

No, it isn't April Fools, you're reading that correctly. Apparently this is actually happening-- Davey Havok, frontman of hardcore/feline-core band AFI, is joining the cast of the American Idiot musical.

According to Yahoo News (which may not be the most reputable source, because I once read an article from them saying that the deceased Andy Kauffman had returned to life after an elaborate multiple-decade-spanning death hoax, which prompted me to in turn tell all my friends about it, only to be mocked for not realizing that Yahoo News has the journalistic integrity of The Weekly World News) Davey Havok will be playing the role of St. Jimmy after Billie Joe's departure. Get ready for some heavy "oh!"s.

Apparently St. Jimmy is a malleable enough role that it can be played by an anorexic gothic actor, Billie Joe, Melissa Etheridge, Davey Havok, or Clifford The Big Red Dog. Personally, I'm hoping Tim Armstrong or Lars Frederiksen from Rancid take on the role next, either so that we can hear Tim add his own personal linguistic approach to some simple lines, or so that Lars can demand a circle pit before the bridge of the song. Maybe there will be a shout out to Ben Zanatto too.

Remember how in the actual record of American Idiot it was ambiguous whether or not Jesus Of Suburbia and St. Jimmy were the same person, different characters, or all different parts of Billie Joe's subconscious? Not here. They're actually all parts of Billie Joe's cash cow.

Now I'm not here to say this entire thing is for money. When I first heard that American Idiot was being turned into a musical, I decided to reserve my judgements until I saw it for myself. As a Green Day fan, I owed them at least that. Plus, I respected that they were trying to be creative and pushing boundaries of punk and pop music.

But let me tell you, I saw the musical, and it was a huge steaming pile. It sucked, but in a way that I couldn't really quantify. At first it was somewhat cool it see a live band and people singing an album that meant a lot to me, with the same passion that I felt towards it. But somehow, it all just felt like an act (which shouldn't really be surprising, since it IS acting). The faux choreographed headbanging, the leather jacket costumes mixed with 90's replicas of Green Day's own actual outfits, the skirts with random zippers, the vague plot lines involving liquor and drugs, or uh, the people flying (yes, people fly) it all just felt really trivial. It was like someone looked at what they thought punk rock was, and then included every cliché possible. It would be like if I made a musical about black people and the entire thing was people singing hip hop songs to a setting of fubu jeans, stealing stereos, and doing crack. Trivializes the culture a bit, don't you think?

This brings us to a weird point in our culture, where the art of musical theater (which, when done well, I totally respect) has crossed paths and bred with pop music, creating a new kind of monster unto its own. I mean, think about the point we've reached, where AFI, Green Day, American Idol, and musical can all be uttered in the same breath? American Idol culture has made everything to the point where it needs to be as theatrical as possible. Pop music almost isn't pop music unless it's being featured on American Idol on Broadway. Where will it end? Consider Glee, which now has the title of "more top 20 singles than the Beatles". Shit, I don't even like the Beatles, but that's pretty insulting to music, isn't it? What next, the cast of Glee singing American Idiot in their cheerleading outfits? Or worse, Billie Joe joining them?

Yeah, chew on that for a while. Okay, my "sky is falling" rant is over. Here's some videos of Billie Joe as St. Jimmy, and AFI-- from their former greatness to now.

Billie Joe as St Jimmy:



AFI back in the day:



AFI now:

The Lawrence Arms Have More Fun Than You

Well folks, it's Monday, which means you're sitting at your desk hating your life, hungover from the weekend, reflecting on all the poor decisions you've made, and looking at all the nice stacks of work you've got to get through before the week is through. Or if you're unemployed like me, you're sitting at home in your underwear counting your food stamps and asking people for handouts, wondering why not one wants to hire your broke ass. Either way, it's all the same beast, we're just suckin' on different appendages, ya dig?

Seeing as you're miserable, it only seems natural to taunt you with The Lawrence Arms' latest tour video, featuring them hanging out and just having a good time in general on their recent mini tour through the US. If you don't know who The Lawrence Arms are don't worry, I used to have bad taste in music too (back when I thought the Foo Fighters were cool). The good news is I'm here to help you, or at least, degrade you further.

There's not a lot to say about this video, other than that it's your standard "tour video"-- Footage compiled from various shows, sitting in the tour van, at the airport, backstage, etc. Nothing particularly novel, but it's fun as hell to watch a band I look up to living the type of life I aspire to have. Drinking beers, playing shows, not having to talk to any of you people ever again. One can dream...

Anyway the video is shot to the song "Them Angels Been Talkin'"off their recent EP, Buttsweat and Tears, and it rocks my dick, so you should go check it out. Their singer/bassist also writes in a pretty awesome blog, Bad Sandwich Chronicles, which generally features randomness in the way of midget tossing, STD's, and "fun ways to clean your butt that don't involve toilet paper or water".

Okay, here's the damn video already. Many of the shots are from the Knitting Factory show, so maybe if you look real hard you'll see me in the audience. But probably not.


Them Angels Been Talkin' :: the Lawrence Arms from ben pier on Vimeo.

Avril Lavigne Is A Musical Genius

Holy shit, it's been a long time since I've written in this thing. I guess you could say the main reason for that is the same reason that you're fat and unhappy-- You know, too much time stuffing my face with food and sitting on my couch watching that guy from Man Vs Food stuff HIS face with food. That, and most of the time I'm too drunk to tell my elbow from my asshole, let alone write a cohesive blog post.

Oh well, it's the new year (sort of), which means that (unlike everyone else who promises to give you something exciting and new) I'm going to continue to give you the same bullshit opinions on crap you probably don't care about, in the form of incoherent posts riddled with lame puns and bad spelling errirs.

Alright, let's get into the meat of it, shall we?

Somehow my post featuring Avril Lavigne on the cover of Maxim was the most viewed post in the history of like, all the internet posts ever made by anyone, or at least by me, and since it's the still technically January and thus technically still "the new year," we might as well feed our collective voyeuristic inclinations by watching her new music video. (We all know you only clicked on her the first time cause of her abs. Way to go, pervs)

Now imagine for a second that you're launching your musical comeback with a new music video, the first thing people are going to see of you since you faded into obscurity. What's the first thing you want people to see?

"I know!" someone thought. "How about we have you half naked in your bed!"

GENIUS. That's the thing, it's marketing genius. In fact, that's what this entire music video is. If you can bare to sit through anything that happens after she puts her clothes on (I know, why would you?), you'll see that the entire video is MARKETING, and BRANDING. From the moment that Avril wakes up in her perfectly applied signature eyeliner, every step of the video is directed at answering the question"How can we re-brand Avril Lavigne as still being COOL?"

From the bohemian apartment filled with records, to the not so subtle flashing of the word "VINTAGE" in the clothing shop, to the part where Avril flips off the camera, every item and every action is intended to show that Avril is still cool and edgy. Not into pop punk anymore? Don't worry, it's cool, look at the guy she's banging, he probably doesn't like pop punk either! Thought Avril Lavigne was "safe"? Watch as she gets out of bed half naked and then steals a car so she can play basketball in the hood and then go to a dive bar! Parents, recoil in horror at the monster you've created!

Not only is everything in this video about branding Avril, but it's about product placement. How many products get their own shot in this video? I counted at least the flat screen television, the perfume, the sign for her clothing line, and the Sony Ericsson phone on my first watch.

IT'S MARKETING GENIUS, PEOPLE. And you know what? When you combine marketing genius with celebrity hotness, you get musical genius. And that's why Avril Lavigne is a musical genius. The fact that the video has had over two million views in a week proves it. Did I mention she starts the video in her underwear?

Alright, here's the damn video already: