Davey Havok (AFI) To Join Cast Of American Idiot

No, it isn't April Fools, you're reading that correctly. Apparently this is actually happening-- Davey Havok, frontman of hardcore/feline-core band AFI, is joining the cast of the American Idiot musical.

According to Yahoo News (which may not be the most reputable source, because I once read an article from them saying that the deceased Andy Kauffman had returned to life after an elaborate multiple-decade-spanning death hoax, which prompted me to in turn tell all my friends about it, only to be mocked for not realizing that Yahoo News has the journalistic integrity of The Weekly World News) Davey Havok will be playing the role of St. Jimmy after Billie Joe's departure. Get ready for some heavy "oh!"s.

Apparently St. Jimmy is a malleable enough role that it can be played by an anorexic gothic actor, Billie Joe, Melissa Etheridge, Davey Havok, or Clifford The Big Red Dog. Personally, I'm hoping Tim Armstrong or Lars Frederiksen from Rancid take on the role next, either so that we can hear Tim add his own personal linguistic approach to some simple lines, or so that Lars can demand a circle pit before the bridge of the song. Maybe there will be a shout out to Ben Zanatto too.

Remember how in the actual record of American Idiot it was ambiguous whether or not Jesus Of Suburbia and St. Jimmy were the same person, different characters, or all different parts of Billie Joe's subconscious? Not here. They're actually all parts of Billie Joe's cash cow.

Now I'm not here to say this entire thing is for money. When I first heard that American Idiot was being turned into a musical, I decided to reserve my judgements until I saw it for myself. As a Green Day fan, I owed them at least that. Plus, I respected that they were trying to be creative and pushing boundaries of punk and pop music.

But let me tell you, I saw the musical, and it was a huge steaming pile. It sucked, but in a way that I couldn't really quantify. At first it was somewhat cool it see a live band and people singing an album that meant a lot to me, with the same passion that I felt towards it. But somehow, it all just felt like an act (which shouldn't really be surprising, since it IS acting). The faux choreographed headbanging, the leather jacket costumes mixed with 90's replicas of Green Day's own actual outfits, the skirts with random zippers, the vague plot lines involving liquor and drugs, or uh, the people flying (yes, people fly) it all just felt really trivial. It was like someone looked at what they thought punk rock was, and then included every cliché possible. It would be like if I made a musical about black people and the entire thing was people singing hip hop songs to a setting of fubu jeans, stealing stereos, and doing crack. Trivializes the culture a bit, don't you think?

This brings us to a weird point in our culture, where the art of musical theater (which, when done well, I totally respect) has crossed paths and bred with pop music, creating a new kind of monster unto its own. I mean, think about the point we've reached, where AFI, Green Day, American Idol, and musical can all be uttered in the same breath? American Idol culture has made everything to the point where it needs to be as theatrical as possible. Pop music almost isn't pop music unless it's being featured on American Idol on Broadway. Where will it end? Consider Glee, which now has the title of "more top 20 singles than the Beatles". Shit, I don't even like the Beatles, but that's pretty insulting to music, isn't it? What next, the cast of Glee singing American Idiot in their cheerleading outfits? Or worse, Billie Joe joining them?

Yeah, chew on that for a while. Okay, my "sky is falling" rant is over. Here's some videos of Billie Joe as St. Jimmy, and AFI-- from their former greatness to now.

Billie Joe as St Jimmy:



AFI back in the day:



AFI now:

The Lawrence Arms Have More Fun Than You

Well folks, it's Monday, which means you're sitting at your desk hating your life, hungover from the weekend, reflecting on all the poor decisions you've made, and looking at all the nice stacks of work you've got to get through before the week is through. Or if you're unemployed like me, you're sitting at home in your underwear counting your food stamps and asking people for handouts, wondering why not one wants to hire your broke ass. Either way, it's all the same beast, we're just suckin' on different appendages, ya dig?

Seeing as you're miserable, it only seems natural to taunt you with The Lawrence Arms' latest tour video, featuring them hanging out and just having a good time in general on their recent mini tour through the US. If you don't know who The Lawrence Arms are don't worry, I used to have bad taste in music too (back when I thought the Foo Fighters were cool). The good news is I'm here to help you, or at least, degrade you further.

There's not a lot to say about this video, other than that it's your standard "tour video"-- Footage compiled from various shows, sitting in the tour van, at the airport, backstage, etc. Nothing particularly novel, but it's fun as hell to watch a band I look up to living the type of life I aspire to have. Drinking beers, playing shows, not having to talk to any of you people ever again. One can dream...

Anyway the video is shot to the song "Them Angels Been Talkin'"off their recent EP, Buttsweat and Tears, and it rocks my dick, so you should go check it out. Their singer/bassist also writes in a pretty awesome blog, Bad Sandwich Chronicles, which generally features randomness in the way of midget tossing, STD's, and "fun ways to clean your butt that don't involve toilet paper or water".

Okay, here's the damn video already. Many of the shots are from the Knitting Factory show, so maybe if you look real hard you'll see me in the audience. But probably not.


Them Angels Been Talkin' :: the Lawrence Arms from ben pier on Vimeo.

Avril Lavigne Is A Musical Genius

Holy shit, it's been a long time since I've written in this thing. I guess you could say the main reason for that is the same reason that you're fat and unhappy-- You know, too much time stuffing my face with food and sitting on my couch watching that guy from Man Vs Food stuff HIS face with food. That, and most of the time I'm too drunk to tell my elbow from my asshole, let alone write a cohesive blog post.

Oh well, it's the new year (sort of), which means that (unlike everyone else who promises to give you something exciting and new) I'm going to continue to give you the same bullshit opinions on crap you probably don't care about, in the form of incoherent posts riddled with lame puns and bad spelling errirs.

Alright, let's get into the meat of it, shall we?

Somehow my post featuring Avril Lavigne on the cover of Maxim was the most viewed post in the history of like, all the internet posts ever made by anyone, or at least by me, and since it's the still technically January and thus technically still "the new year," we might as well feed our collective voyeuristic inclinations by watching her new music video. (We all know you only clicked on her the first time cause of her abs. Way to go, pervs)

Now imagine for a second that you're launching your musical comeback with a new music video, the first thing people are going to see of you since you faded into obscurity. What's the first thing you want people to see?

"I know!" someone thought. "How about we have you half naked in your bed!"

GENIUS. That's the thing, it's marketing genius. In fact, that's what this entire music video is. If you can bare to sit through anything that happens after she puts her clothes on (I know, why would you?), you'll see that the entire video is MARKETING, and BRANDING. From the moment that Avril wakes up in her perfectly applied signature eyeliner, every step of the video is directed at answering the question"How can we re-brand Avril Lavigne as still being COOL?"

From the bohemian apartment filled with records, to the not so subtle flashing of the word "VINTAGE" in the clothing shop, to the part where Avril flips off the camera, every item and every action is intended to show that Avril is still cool and edgy. Not into pop punk anymore? Don't worry, it's cool, look at the guy she's banging, he probably doesn't like pop punk either! Thought Avril Lavigne was "safe"? Watch as she gets out of bed half naked and then steals a car so she can play basketball in the hood and then go to a dive bar! Parents, recoil in horror at the monster you've created!

Not only is everything in this video about branding Avril, but it's about product placement. How many products get their own shot in this video? I counted at least the flat screen television, the perfume, the sign for her clothing line, and the Sony Ericsson phone on my first watch.

IT'S MARKETING GENIUS, PEOPLE. And you know what? When you combine marketing genius with celebrity hotness, you get musical genius. And that's why Avril Lavigne is a musical genius. The fact that the video has had over two million views in a week proves it. Did I mention she starts the video in her underwear?

Alright, here's the damn video already:

The Pete Wentz Ego Trip Continues

For those of you who were fortunate enough not to know, Pete Wentz recently put together a new band called Black Cards. For those of you fortunate enough not to know who Pete Wentz is, he helped propel Fallout Boy to fame with his emo lyrics, lack of musical ability, and douchebag smile.

Not long ago Fallout Boy decided to go on indefinite hiatus, with Pete Wentz citing that he needed to spend more time with his family (you know, that "actress" he's married to, Ashlee Simpson, and their little bundle of joy, Bronx Mowgli, from the jungle book), and tantalizingly enough added that he thought the world  "needed a little less of Pete Wentz."

It looks like Pete has since decided that not only does he not need to spend more time with his family, but that the world needs MORE Pete Wentz. His new project, Black Cards, are meant to be his solution to both, I guess. Apparently the band is meant to be "experimental reggae", but if you ask me the idea of Pete Wentz playing experimental reggae sounds about as successful as Sean William Scott trying to play Rain Man.

Anyway, I don't know what the fuck this is meant to be, but this video was posted on the Black Cards Youtube page yesterday. If anyone has any clue, seriously fill me in. It's a trailer, and I don't know why bands or music videos or retarded bass players need trailers, but there ya go.

Tom Waits Will Ruin What's Left Of Your Wallet

Well it's official, you're fucked. If you pre-ordered the Bad Religion records I posted last week, then your wallet is probably suffering a near death experience, with Tom Waits about to cast the finishing blow. 

Anti Records announced today that they are repressing the first four releases from Tom Waits' Aslyum years (the beginning of his career) on limited edition 180-gram red vinyl, with each record being limited to 1000 copies. Records included in this repressing are Closing Time, The Heart Of Saturday Night, Small Change, and Nighthawks At The Diner. Each record is going for $26.99, except for Nighthawks At The Diner, which is going for $37.99. Now I'm too braindead to do the math, but superior guesstimation skills tell me that ordering all these records comes to a grand total of like, a billion dollars.

The only one of these albums I actually own is Small Change, and I have to say it's pretty damn cool. Tom Waits has this great way of timelessly making you feel like an old tin can sailor at the end of his rope, dying in a gutter somewhere. Whilst the jazzier numbers are fun to listen to, it's the slow piano songs that really make this album for me. It's the kind of album you don't mind listening to on an introspective Friday night by yourself with a bottle of wine.

I remember the first time I heard "The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)", I was in a tiny bar with a friend of mine, without any real place to go or people to meet. We were sitting there when the song came on, and we both just started cracking up. There's something hauntingly sad about some of these songs, but at the same time they aren't without humor. Tom Waits manages to sound like a raving drunk singing about how the menus are all freezing, the piano tuner needs a hearing aid, the telephone is out of cigarettes, etc, all while capturing some shared human emotion that anyone who has been there (or even heard the song) feels.

"Tom Traubert's Blues" follows a similar vein, with Waits saying of his inspiration for the song "I went down to skid row ... I bought a pint of rye. In a brown paper bag... Hunkered down, drank the pint of rye, went home, threw up, and wrote 'Tom Traubert's Blues'". 

I can't vouch for the awesomeness of the other albums, but if they're as good as Small Change, you can bet they're worth picking up. 

Anyway, if you've never heard it, here's Tom Waits performing "Tom Trauberts Blues", as well as "The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)" on various television shows from the 70's. The first video definitely captures the sad aspect of his music much more, while the second one captures his humor. The second video also includes one of my favorite interviews with him.


EDIT:


Records can be purchased from the Tom Waits official webstore:


http://kingsroadmerch.com/tom-waits/

Bad Religion Will Ruin Your Wallet

In continuing Bad Religion news, the band recently announced this 30th anniversary box set, featuring every album they've ever released on limited edition red vinyl, including the first pressing of Generator in 12 years, and the first pressing of the super rare/hilarious album Into The Unknown in 27 years. The box set is limited to 3000 copies, and fetches for a whopping price of $200 until the end of today, and then goes up to $224.99.

Yeah, it's balls expensive, but for anyone getting into vinyl or any fan of Bad Religion, this is a staple to your collection. I could write an entire dissertation on why each Bad Religion album is amazing, but I think I'll save that for another day. You know what someone should do though? Someone should write a blog or a book about every single Bad Religion song. Then they should give me credit for it, cause lord knows I need the money/approval of others (especially after spending two hundred bones on this box set).

I smartly/foolishly ordered a copy of this box set, and I couldn't be more stoked to receive it in the mail. Hell, I even have seven out of the fifteen albums on vinyl already, but half of those are on loan from a buddy, and the rest I will probably just sell or hock from crack cocaine, which I hear is the right thing to do when you're as homeless as I am.

Anyways, go here and give Bad Religion your money:

http://www.kingsroadmerch.com/bad-religion/

Then order one of these hilarious Into The Unknown t shirts, cause it was your favorite album:

Fuck Armageddon, This Is Bad Religion!

Howdy folks! Been a while since I've posted on the ol' blog here-- Been far too busy fucking and sucking my way through the day. That's all about to change though, since I'm no longer working regular hours (read: homeless), and as a result of which I've decided to spend more time writing on this thing.

As some of you may have intuited from the title of this post, Bad Religion is going to be heavily featured on this blog all week long. There's a lot going on in the utopian world of Bad Religion (including multiple shows/orgasms in NYC), so I figure each day I will focus on a different story about the band.

Note: If you haven't figured it out by now Bad Religion is a pretty big theme on this blog. (So is "get me payed", but unfortunately Google remains unimpressed by my five followers. ) If you have no idea who Bad Religion is, then I suggest you go to your local ravine and throw yourself into it, because you're a fuckin' idiot.

Right, so for those of you who were unaware, Bad Religion recently decided to play three shows at Irving Plaza in NYC to celebrate their thirty years as a band. The idea is that the set of each show would consist of songs from each of the albums released during each decade of their career-- The first show being songs from their 80's albums, the second show being songs from their 90's albums, the third show being songs from their 00's albums.

The first of three shows took place in the middle of last week, and needless to say, I was in attendance amongst the the sea of concert-goers. The show was sold out, and there was much anticipation as to what kind of obscure songs would find their way into the setlist (namely, would they finally play something from their rare [and arguably terrible] prog rock album, Into The Unknown, which the band themselves have pretty much disowned entirely at this point?)

I've gone ahead and typed out the setlist by album (not by order that they played them in-- A couple tall boys of Bud into the show it became apparent that there way no way I could remember the order of songs, let alone my own date of birth) below:

How Could Hell Be Any Worse?
We're Only Gonna Die
Slaves
Latch Key Kids
Part III
Fuck Armageddon This Is Hell
Yesterday
Frogger
Along The Way

Into The Unknown
Billy Gnosis

Suffer
You Are The Government
How Much Is Enough?
Suffer
Delirium Of Disorder
Do What You Want

No Control
Big Bang
No Control
I Want To Conquer The World
Sanity
You

Against The Grain
21st Century Digital Boy

Recipe For Hate
American Jesus

Stranger Than Fiction
Infected

The Process Of Belief
Sorrow

The Empire Strikes First
Los Angeles Is Burning

New Maps Of Hell
New Dark Ages

The Dissent Of Man
Devil In Stitches
The Resist Stance
Wrong Way Kids
Avalon


Looking at this list, two things will probably become apparent, the first being that they played a decent amount of songs that occurred after 1989, particularly from their new album "The Dissent Of Man". I suppose the band wanted to promote the new album a little bit, as well as throw in a couple of fan favorites for those who would not be attending all three performances. As much as I enjoyed these songs, I kind of wish the band had just saved them for another night, in order to make space for some more of their lesser-played songs from the 80's era. "Latch Key Kids" and "Yesterday" sounded particularly awesome, but it was somewhat disappointing that the only real rare song that they played off "No Control" was "Big Bang". What, no "Henchman" or "Anxiety"? All in all the set was great though, and their songs from "How Could Hell Be Any Worse" sounded miles better than they do on the album. I was kind of hoping they would play their song "Bad Religion" as well, because even though it's not their best song, it is, uh, the name of the band, dude.

The second thing that should be instantly apparent from this list is that they played Billy Gnosis from Into The Unknown. Let me repeat this for emphasis: THEY PLAYED BILLY FUCKIN' GNOSIS. The result was... awkward. The song itself is by no means one of their best songs, but what made it exciting to see what the rarity of it. When Bad Religion gets up and plays "Generator", you know that they've played it at every show since 1991 (except this one), and whilst it is awesome every time, you know that the band themselves probably can't distinguish one performance of it from the thousands of other ones. That would be like asking someone "Hey man, you remember that time you checked your email that one day five years ago?" Uh, no.

What made this song (and by extension, the entire show) awesome was the shared experience of it all. You know Bad Religion will remember playing Billy Gnosis during their 80's era show in New York City in 2010 because as Greg Graffin said, they've never played it before. Jay then corrected him and said they played in once in 1983, but even that was long enough ago that I was -1 years old.

Overall the show was badass, and highlights included the crowd chanting "Ten more years!" instead of "One more song!" before the encore, and the most hilarious old man a row or two in front of me. This was a guy who looked like he was about in his 50's, bald on top with brownish grey hair on the sides, the type of guy who probably wears Polo Ralph Lauren with khakis on the weekends in his suburban home. Picture this, and then picture him wearing a faded blue denim jeans jacket with matching faded blue denim jeans-- The type of thing that was probably commonplace at a punk show back in 1983, but today really just makes you look dated and out of touch. I get the impression that this guy heard that a band he liked as a kid in the 80's were playing, and decided to go check it out for nostalgia. It was as if he literally dusted off his old jeans jacket from thirty years ago while his kids rolled their eyes in embarrassment. What made the entire thing so funny (and by funny I actually mean heartwarming) was that for any of the songs that were written after 1988 he pretty much just stood there looking motionless and confused, but for every song prior to '88 he had his fist in the air singing every word. It was like literally just stopped listening to them one day. It kind of gives hope for the rest of us that maybe when we're fifty years old we'll be able to do the same thing... which I think will make the members of Bad Religion about eighty.

Anyway, here's Bad Religion playing Billy Gnosis, for all the suckers who weren't there: